Inside

Inside is OK at best. The idea behind it is cool, but they really don't explain anything. I have seen a few YouTube personalities play it and they loved it. I can't see why they thought it was so amazing. Sure, it has a great atmosphere and it really sucks you in because you think you're going to figure out where you are and what's going on.

The beginning of the game is, there really isn't a beginning. As soon as you are greeted with the title screen you are thrown right into it. No "Hit Start" to begin or any of that shit. They just say "Hey, here is our game and you better start fucking playing it!". You don't even get a chance, there is no choice. You just have to start playing.

You run through the woods for a little while trying to avoid these guys in masks and trying not to get choked out or shot in the back. You make your way through a corn field where you battle a pig that has something in it's ass(That's not code for anything, there is literally something you have to pull out of the Pigs ass). You finally make it to a point where you jump on the Pigs back and put your head in this mind control helmet thing and try to figure out the puzzles that are set in front of you. Most of them are easy and some require some thought.

The best thing about Inside are the Mermaids you encounter at a few parts of the game. Obviously they are only in water. You get a tiny Submarine and the Mermaids are able to break in and drown you to death if they catch you. That's about all the game has going for it. If you liked this game, I'm glad you did, but if you spent money on it... Sucks to be you.

Anyway, by the end of the game you are pulled into what I can only describe as a giant blob and are running around this facility killing the workers and trying to solve even more puzzles, but as a giant blob of shit. SPOILER ALERT! You finally break out of the facility as the blob and roll down a giant hill where you stop just before you hit the water and are shined upon by the sunlight where you are then greeted by the end credits!

This game isn't worth the $19.99 they're asking for it. For one, they don't explain anything! start the game, be confused throughout the entire thing, then get nothing resolved by the time the end credits roll. Spend your money on a better game. I want to thank the team over at PlayDead for providing me with a key so I can play and provide and accurate review of this dumpster fire.

Life In Bunker

Life In Bunker is basically The Sims with more shit to do, most of that is killing everyone in your bunker. You start off the game with a long and drawn out tutorial. I will say that the tutorial is much needed as a new player because you're going to be really confused and might start defecating in your underpants without it. Don't cry just yet though, we have only scratched the surface of this game.

You have to assign each member of the bunker a job to do. Such as Scientist, Janitor, Engineer, Cook, Farmer and so on. Once you get that all figured out you have to grow children. Now, I know what you're thinking, "There's no sex?!" There is no sex, unfortunately. This game would be a Hell of a lot better if you could watch the characters get knocked up. There are these machines that you use to grow your test tube babies and bring them into the world of your bunker.

Once these Albino, Vitamin C deficient kids are old enough you can assign them jobs as well! It's basically just a giant rinse and repeat cycle of you growing children and having people in your bunker grow old and die. There are also "Mole Men" who break through the ground if you have neglected to build a floor and will attack your bunker mates and kill them. I played for about an hour and I still have no idea what to really do.

I have done the tutorial 3 times and it didn't help me at all. You have to build machines for Air, Water, Shitters and Showers. You also need to build pipes to connect to all these things. Maybe I haven't spent enough time playing to fully grasp the concept. But I just think it's a game that we have seen before and will probably see over and over again in the near future.

Don't get me wrong, It's a great idea that has been done before in some many awful ways that the genre is just begging for a good version of the same idea to arise and shine bright through all the piles of crap that are currently on Steam. Life In Bunker currently costs $!5.99(USD) on Steam and I would suggest you spend your money elsewhere.

Alteric

The only other game that made me want to literally go kill another living human was The Impossible Game. Alteric has you avoiding Lasers, Saws and your own stupidity to conquer various stages while also switching between two universes that are out to just rape you repeatedly with no lube. Not even offering some Cheese or a fine wine.

I have played about two hours of this game (Most of that time spent dying and cursing at the game) just trying to resist the urge to punch a dog or kick a baby. Just when you think you have a level figured out, you remember that you can switch to the other universe in order to see hidden blocks.

It has pretty good graphics for a game that is out to get you at every turn. There really isn't much to say about this game. If you are thinking about getting it just make sure you have a doctor or psychologist standing by to take your call. Your blood pressure will be extremely high as you contemplate suicide... Or murder.

In all honesty, Alteric is pretty fun. Sure, you will find yourself cursing at the game and calling yourself an asshole but it is well worth the actual satisfaction you get from finally beating a level that you have been stuck on for an hour.

The first like 4 or 5 levels are just to get you acquainted with the controls and get you ready for the shit storm that lies ahead. Soon, you will be getting chased by faces that are trying to chew your ass off. Not to mention the levels where you have to figure out gravity. Yeah, as if that shit wasn't enough, now gravity is your enemy.

Regardless of how hard and anger inducing Alteric is, it is well worth the $3.99(USD) it currently costs on steam. Pick it up!

Slither.io

I currently have a Love/Hate relationship with Slither.io. On one hand, I love playing this game because it's really fun. On the other hand, if this game had a face, I would punch it over and over. There are few games that make me really say "Really?! IS that a fucking joke?! It must be a joke because that didn't just happen!".

The goal of the game is to basically eat orbs to grow larger than the other snakes. Kill the other snakes and eat the orbs that they're dead bodies leave behind. You can speed up and swerve in front of other snakes and kill them. When the other snakes speed up, you can eat the little orb feces they leave behind. 

Slither.io is extremely frustrating and I want to kick the developer in the balls for making another game that pisses me off. Don't get me wrong, It's fun as shit to piss other people off when you kill them... But those moments are few and far between. Most of your time in this game will be spent dying and yelling "No fucking way!" at your computer or Android screen.

It is available on Android, IOS and Web Browser. It is free to play so you can't go wrong. Watch out for the little assholes that try to jump in your face and make you ram right into their asses. The controls are decent and there is a little lag here and there. I can't have Netflix running while playing this game because it makes the lag unbelievably bad. 

This game is definitely best enjoyed while you're taking a giant dump or are bored at work. Just be careful not to curse too loud, because you WILL curse. 

Ark: Survival Evolved

Ark: Survival Evolved is a first person adventure/crafting/survival game where you awake naked, hungry and freeing on a mysterious island. You must use your wit and cunning to build a shelter, gather food, grow crops and tame Dinosaurs in order to ensure your survival on Ark.

There is no greater feeling than saying "Yeah, I just made that Dinosaur my bitch.". With Ark: Survival Evolved you won't be saying it much within your first few hours playing. You have to unlock Narcotics which are made from Narco Berries which will take forever to gather enough to make the amount of Narcotics required to tame a Dinosaur. Unless you're trying to tame the DoDo Bird.

I have put in about 250 hours playing Ark: Survival Evolved and I will be putting in way more hours. The one thing you're going to see a lot of no matter what server you join is lag. The lag is a fucking killer. You will get a lag spike every now and then that will just turn you off. Don't fret, there's enough to do in the game to make the lag worth playing!

Your first 5 to 6 hours playing are going to be spent grinding for resources and leveling your character up so you can unlock the necessary things. The grinding is such a pain in the balls. You build your thatch house, all while trying to make sure you have a campfire and enough food to survive. The rate your damn hunger goes do is so bad. You'll need to eat every like 5 minutes.

If you don't die from hunger and thirst, the Dinosaurs will surely eat your face. You're going to die a lot before you actually spawn in a safe-ish area to start building. God help you if you spawn in the snow biome. Along with hunger and thirst, the cold will kill you pretty easily. If you spawn in a place you don't want to be, you could always go punch the nearest Dinosaur and have it kill you to choose a new spawn area.

If you're playing PVP, don't. Player killing is retarded in this game. You don't even get a chance to talk before some asshole sticks a spear up your ass and turns you into a human Kebab. With any PVP game you will meet the nice player here and there that will help you out and throw you some food and let you build near them. People are very territorial.

Everyone is going to have bigger and better shit than you. Build too close to a big base and some dick on a T-Rex will show up and eat your time thatch or wood house. I have had that happen to me numerous times. Most times they won't kill you, they'll just destroy your house so you have to start over in a new location.

I prefer PVE in this game because there's no player killing and people are a lot more likely to be friendly and let you build near them. Pick your server wisely because most Server Owners are huge dicks and don't care what you have to say when something happens. I've dealt with the worst Server Owners and Moderators that it's unbelievable how stupid they can be.

If a server says no cursing and you say "ass", it's on. I've spent countless hours telling owners to go fuck themselves and getting myself banned. As if you want to play on a server like that. Right? Cursing is a corner stone of American culture!

Other than all that, The game is really fun. The time spent dying from the elements, hunger and thirst are outweighed by how fun it gets once you start to level up your character and actually get a decent base going. The screenshots don't lie. This is a beautiful looking game. It costs $29.99(USD) on Steam!

Day One: Garry's Incident

I can't even begin to explain what a dumpster fire of a game this is. It's so bad that even the developer decided it was time to call it quits, which is probably why it's only $2.99(USD) on Steam. Let's jump right into it and try not to hang ourselves in the process of this review.

I don't even know where to begin with this pile of monkey fuck. Take your testicles and put them in a vice grip. Trust me, your time is better spent doing that. This game is pure ass from the second you install it until 15 minutes later when you uninstall it. There's no way you get far enough into the game to even try and understand what the fuck is going on.

There's basically no story line to it. You crash your plane and wake up tied down in a temple where some dude is trying to drive a knife through your chest. You look over to your right and there's a woman shackled to the wall and you start thinking "I like where this is going". Then, the game starts and you couldn't care any less at this point.

You break free and escape the temple only to be greeted by another woman who brings you to her tribe and the only way they will help you is if you kill a Panther that is around their camp. Then you battle with your hand to not punch yourself in the face, which you will do eventually if you continue to play this game. I didn't get very far into it.  I played for about 20 minutes and had to take a break because I could feel myself staring out of my window trying to figure out if I jump head first out of it will I break my neck and live or will I get lucky and die on impact?

Do yourself a huge favor and skip this game. $0.50 or whatever the Hell it costs. It's not worth the hair on your balls to own or even consider owning or playing. I'm not even going to tell you how much it actually costs.

IAMJAKE Gaming

Q: What are some of the challenges of starting a new channel on YouTube?

A: One of my biggest challenges was trying to figure out the most efficient recording setup. Since I have started recording, I have had several different setups, and spent quite a bit of money to get the setup I’m currently using. Quality is very important to me. Another challenge was getting my channel to be known. For the first few weeks, I only had a few people watching my content. I was never a big Twitter user, but I’ve found that it is the best social media for advertising yourself. Since I started it, the channel has been growing every day, and I am so happy about it.

Q:What are some games that you just don't want to put up on your channel?

A: I’ve never really thought of what games I would not want to put up. I don’t have a restriction on what games I won’t record, but I don’t plan on recording any more Five Nights at Freddy’s games until the Sister Location comes out this year. They aren’t bad games, but I just don’t plan to play any of the first three because I had already beaten them off camera. I played a bit of the fourth game, but I won’t be returning to that game for recording.

Q: What are some of your favorite games to play that you don't plan on putting up?

A: Some of my favorite games to play off camera are on my N64, NES, and Sega Genesis. I love playing Mario Kart, Castlevania, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Streets of Rage, and Sonic. I grew up playing these with my friends and siblings, so there’s a lot of nostalgia when I play these games. I still have friends come over and we all huddle around the TV to play Mario Kart or Smash Bros. It’s always a great time. A game I feel worth mentioning is Borderlands. I play the second one on my Xbox every once in awhile, and I really enjoy it. I don’t have plans to put up game play of that, but I may if I get requests for it.

Q: Why did you decide to start your channel off with Outlast?

A: Well once I played the demo for Outlast 2 that is coming out later this year, I wanted to play the original Outlast. I am a horror fanatic. Hell, even the background in my recording room was the Frankenstein’s Monster blanket in the beginning videos. I love the thrill of being scared, and most things these days don’t scare me. They’re bloody and gory, but that’s not scary. Outlast definitely is a game that pulls you in, and keeps you on the edge of your seat. It’s such a good game and I have so much fun playing it.

Q: What is your process in deciding what to put up and what not to put up?

A: Well I don’t really have a process. I’ll see a game on Steam that looks interesting, and I’ll buy it and record it. I do scroll a lot through itch.io and gamejolt for indie games a lot. I’ve found some really good indie horror games, like the Bad Dream Series. I’ll be playing the second chapter when Desert Fox puts out the new games. I also take requests from people on YouTube or on Twitter. So there’s not really a process, other than “Do I think this will be a good game?” Most of the time I play and record it because there’s always games out there that will surprise you.

Q: Is there anything you would like to say to your current and future subscribers?

A: Thank you all so much for just coming by the channel. It means so much for you to come and watch my content. Thank you for all of the nice messages and comments on YouTube and on Twitter. You all are awesome! Any comment or message you send me, I read every single one. I do my best to respond to all of you when I can. The sense of community that comes with the channel is a great feeling. Remember that all of us are what makes the channel. I may be the guy screaming on camera, but it’s you that makes the channel the very best it can be. I thank all of you so much, and I am so grateful that I can call you all my friends. Again, thank you guys, and I will see all you Bromigos next time!

Huge thanks to IAMJAKE for answering a few questions! You can Follow him on Instagram as well as Twitter and Like his page on Facebook! Don't forget to check out his YouTube Channel Here!

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