Inside

Inside is OK at best. The idea behind it is cool, but they really don't explain anything. I have seen a few YouTube personalities play it and they loved it. I can't see why they thought it was so amazing. Sure, it has a great atmosphere and it really sucks you in because you think you're going to figure out where you are and what's going on.

The beginning of the game is, there really isn't a beginning. As soon as you are greeted with the title screen you are thrown right into it. No "Hit Start" to begin or any of that shit. They just say "Hey, here is our game and you better start fucking playing it!". You don't even get a chance, there is no choice. You just have to start playing.

You run through the woods for a little while trying to avoid these guys in masks and trying not to get choked out or shot in the back. You make your way through a corn field where you battle a pig that has something in it's ass(That's not code for anything, there is literally something you have to pull out of the Pigs ass). You finally make it to a point where you jump on the Pigs back and put your head in this mind control helmet thing and try to figure out the puzzles that are set in front of you. Most of them are easy and some require some thought.

The best thing about Inside are the Mermaids you encounter at a few parts of the game. Obviously they are only in water. You get a tiny Submarine and the Mermaids are able to break in and drown you to death if they catch you. That's about all the game has going for it. If you liked this game, I'm glad you did, but if you spent money on it... Sucks to be you.

Anyway, by the end of the game you are pulled into what I can only describe as a giant blob and are running around this facility killing the workers and trying to solve even more puzzles, but as a giant blob of shit. SPOILER ALERT! You finally break out of the facility as the blob and roll down a giant hill where you stop just before you hit the water and are shined upon by the sunlight where you are then greeted by the end credits!

This game isn't worth the $19.99 they're asking for it. For one, they don't explain anything! start the game, be confused throughout the entire thing, then get nothing resolved by the time the end credits roll. Spend your money on a better game. I want to thank the team over at PlayDead for providing me with a key so I can play and provide and accurate review of this dumpster fire.

Life In Bunker

Life In Bunker is basically The Sims with more shit to do, most of that is killing everyone in your bunker. You start off the game with a long and drawn out tutorial. I will say that the tutorial is much needed as a new player because you're going to be really confused and might start defecating in your underpants without it. Don't cry just yet though, we have only scratched the surface of this game.

You have to assign each member of the bunker a job to do. Such as Scientist, Janitor, Engineer, Cook, Farmer and so on. Once you get that all figured out you have to grow children. Now, I know what you're thinking, "There's no sex?!" There is no sex, unfortunately. This game would be a Hell of a lot better if you could watch the characters get knocked up. There are these machines that you use to grow your test tube babies and bring them into the world of your bunker.

Once these Albino, Vitamin C deficient kids are old enough you can assign them jobs as well! It's basically just a giant rinse and repeat cycle of you growing children and having people in your bunker grow old and die. There are also "Mole Men" who break through the ground if you have neglected to build a floor and will attack your bunker mates and kill them. I played for about an hour and I still have no idea what to really do.

I have done the tutorial 3 times and it didn't help me at all. You have to build machines for Air, Water, Shitters and Showers. You also need to build pipes to connect to all these things. Maybe I haven't spent enough time playing to fully grasp the concept. But I just think it's a game that we have seen before and will probably see over and over again in the near future.

Don't get me wrong, It's a great idea that has been done before in some many awful ways that the genre is just begging for a good version of the same idea to arise and shine bright through all the piles of crap that are currently on Steam. Life In Bunker currently costs $!5.99(USD) on Steam and I would suggest you spend your money elsewhere.

Alteric

The only other game that made me want to literally go kill another living human was The Impossible Game. Alteric has you avoiding Lasers, Saws and your own stupidity to conquer various stages while also switching between two universes that are out to just rape you repeatedly with no lube. Not even offering some Cheese or a fine wine.

I have played about two hours of this game (Most of that time spent dying and cursing at the game) just trying to resist the urge to punch a dog or kick a baby. Just when you think you have a level figured out, you remember that you can switch to the other universe in order to see hidden blocks.

It has pretty good graphics for a game that is out to get you at every turn. There really isn't much to say about this game. If you are thinking about getting it just make sure you have a doctor or psychologist standing by to take your call. Your blood pressure will be extremely high as you contemplate suicide... Or murder.

In all honesty, Alteric is pretty fun. Sure, you will find yourself cursing at the game and calling yourself an asshole but it is well worth the actual satisfaction you get from finally beating a level that you have been stuck on for an hour.

The first like 4 or 5 levels are just to get you acquainted with the controls and get you ready for the shit storm that lies ahead. Soon, you will be getting chased by faces that are trying to chew your ass off. Not to mention the levels where you have to figure out gravity. Yeah, as if that shit wasn't enough, now gravity is your enemy.

Regardless of how hard and anger inducing Alteric is, it is well worth the $3.99(USD) it currently costs on steam. Pick it up!